Tricky Tales

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Why I believe in God

This post is largely in response to recent developments in school. A friend of mine has been reading the work of one Richard Dawkins, who has gone to great lengths to undermine God, organised religion, and much of what I hold dear in this world and the next. I have read part of Dawkins' book myself. It's called "The God Delusion", but this is certainly not an advertisement advising anyone to read it. The only benefit I have derived from reading Dawkins' anti-God rant is the opportunity to take a closer look at my faith and deal with some of the theological questions which I have largely ignored. So thank you, Richard Dawkins, for helping me understand my faith better.

I have, and have had, a multitude of reasons for believing in God. Some of them are poor reasons, but I will state and acknowledge them anyway. Two caveats before I begin:

1) The God I believe in is the Christian God; Yahweh; the holy triune God, one with Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. I do not believe in a pantheon of gods, nor do I believe in demi-gods or immortals.

2) These are my personal reasons for believing in God. They are not necessarily my church's reasons, my parents' reasons, or the reasons of the guy sitting next to me now in property law tutorial. They do not need to be your (the reader's) reasons either. There is a personal realm, a private sphere in which religion exists, and this holds a different experience for each of us. My religion is a proselytist one (and it must be) but this post is not meant to convince you to believe in God too, though that would be a happy consequence.

Let's start off with some poor reasons for my belief in God:

1) I was born into a Christian family.

Although it is my fortune to be born into a Christian family, this is such an inadequate reason to believe in God that I will say little on it. There comes a period of time when one must make important personal decisions in life which may or may not conflict with one's upbringing. Though my family has undoubtedly influenced me, my decision to believe in Christianity is independent of them. (Though I am glad I was not born into a cannibalistic or child-sacrificing family)

2) Christians are nice to me.

The one thing that differentiates many Christian groups from their secular counterparts is the genuine warmth and affection they display to people in their midst. And I, persecuted soul that I am, have sought solace in their company many a time. Insofar as Christians are God's representatives here on earth, this may seem like a satisfactory reason to believe in God. However, there are other people who have treated me well -- Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, atheists. Indeed, many people who do not believe in Christianity may have exhibited Christian-like values to me before, yet I do not share in their belief systems. So reason number 2 by itself is a poor reason to believe in God.

Let's move on to some slightly better reasons:

3) God has blessed me.

I have been bountifully blessed in life thus far. Sufficient wealth, adequate health, academic success (though mine pales in comparison to some of my readers) are mine to claim. Yet the times I am most grateful for are those where I have recovered from a potentially disastrous state of affairs. To cite a few examples -- my relationship with my family; the A levels; the first half of my army experience; law school; women in general, etc.

The non-Christians will dismiss this as a fallacious argument; how do I know blessings come from God? Maybe I'm genuinely gifted (as the government would have me think). Maybe I made it through army on my own perseverance. Maybe I'm irresistible to women (just maybe). I am wary of attributing every new occurrence to the hand of God. I don't think that I had a good sleep last night due to God's interference. I don't think that I missed the 156 bus this morning due to an act of God (more likely, it was an act of the malicious driver).

However, when an improbable situation resolves itself in my favour when I specifically petition God for it -- i.e. my prayers are answered -- I tend to chalk it down as an instance of divine intervention. (NB Dawkins and I agree that it is impossible to conclusively prove / disprove the existence of God logically. The best we can do is look at the probability of God's existence.) Several prayers of mine -- the examples I gave included -- have been answered positively even when the odds have seem stacked against me. Several times, when I look back after something has not gone my way, I realise that I hadn't prayed about it.

"Inconclusive," I hear Dawkins say. I know that the effects of prayer do not constitute definitive proof of the existence of God. But ceteris paribus, the fact that my acts of prayer repeatedly coincide with my good 'fortune' increase the probability, in my mind, that God exists. It's a personal phenomenon. Only I know what I prayed for, and whether the state of events prayed for ultimately occurred. This is why this post consists of MY personal reasons for believing in God. If you wish to test out my reasons, try praying yourself ;)

4) Humans are fallible.

Most of the people I've met over my 22 years (and I apologise if you're reading this post now) have reinforced my perception that mankind is indeed a fallible race. Wonderfully talented at times, supremely resourceful at others, but ultimately fallible. I've seen it all -- the scholar whose IQ is off the charts, but goes to bed lonely every night because he is friendless; the beauty queen whom all little girls aspire to be, but is deeply unhappy because she knows she will no longer be beautiful one day; the sports jock who is popular with the 'in' crowd at school but is insecure because he worries that his girlfriend will fall for his best friend.

Humans are inherently imperfect. In my mind's eye, one of the most imperfect examples of humankind is myself. I shall not rant about my own shortcomings on this public blog, but if you have known me, and have thought about me in your spare time, it was probably something unpleasant. Let's not degrade this blog post by talking about me.

Now, Christianity is a religion which recognises and maybe even embraces human fallibility. The creator God -- recognising that His creation of mankind is too imperfect and too deep in sin to save itself -- gave us a free gift of salvation through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross (that's all I'll say about Christianity here lest the non-Christians think I'm a religious zealot out to convert them). This is what sets Christianity apart from many other religions. Most religions preach salvation through human effort; their acolytes must constantly do good deeds, observe certain rituals or say certain prayers to get to heaven (or achieve a better state of being). While Christianity encourages the doing of good works too, this is merely tangential; at the heart of Christianity is the idea that man is saved by the simple act of confessing his sins and believing in God.

How can man, with all his imperfections, be expected to achieve salvation by himself? If the pathway to heaven was strewn with good works, I'd be worrying myself sick every night -- I've quite a lot to catch up compared to my peers. It is precisely because the Christian God is one who acknowledges my frailty, yet can still assure me that I'm not beyond hope, that I seek comfort in the shelter of His wings.

This is not the best argument yet. Perhaps Dawkins would say humanity is still in the process of evolution; maybe we are becoming more perfect with each passing generation. Yet the human condition since the time of the Bible does not seem to have changed much. Man is still plagued by the same unfortunate problems that have plagued him since his birth. To me, one of the keys to understanding Christianity is humility. There has to be a realisation that man cannot do it all alone. That is how human fallibility ties in with my belief in God -- it is precisely because of our inability to save ourselves that we have such a desperate need for God.

Let's move on to my best reasons for my belief in God:

5) God has changed me.

Perhaps this reason is similar to reason (3), in that it is empirical proof of the existence of God. The major difference lies in the fact that I ask for prayers to be answered, whereas I do not always ask to be changed.

I must begin by defining my terms. When I say God has changed me, I do not mean that He has made me taller, or stronger, or more manly. Rather, it is a more subtle change from within; a changing of personality, of character. Let me attempt to illustrate this point with a few examples.

I used to curse and swear everytime something unfortunate happened to me; now I accept it as part of God's larger plan for me. I used to enjoy telling off-colour jokes; now I still tell them, but with much lesser frequency. Perhaps most strikingly, I used to adopt a terribly individualistic approach to work and material wealth; the fruits of my labour or my money belonged to me and only me, and no person in heaven or hell was going to take it away. As I have come to see myself more and more as a steward of God's riches, I have no problem sharing my notes or my cash. (For those people who are reading this and going "Aha, aha, Jerry the miser is lying through his teeth!" let me tell you that my parsimony is reserved for buying items for myself and I do spend on other people when required.)

If I had actually prayed for God to change me in these ways, then this argument would be part of (3). But the opposite is true. I have been resistant to change (especially when it comes to money). I used to enjoy counting my piles of $2 notes in secondary school and JC. I told myself I was not going to part with my money without a struggle. Yet now, somehow, I am comfortable with giving my money to complete strangers (I just gave 500k vis to someone I didn't know on GE!!)

I know what the counter-argument is. God doesn't exist, I know that Christianity expects me to behave in a certain way, I am subconsciously trying to move myself towards that Christian ideal, either that or the changes are those that come with the gradual maturing of the body and mind. And I have to admit that from the point of the objective bystander, that is perfectly plausible. Yet I must reiterate that these are my personal reasons for believing in God. The person most amazed at my willingness to part with my allowance is myself. To me (and perhaps only to me), my change of character is proof that God exists. (Post paused -- DotA time.)

6 Comments:

  • good call, jerry. i'm waiting on this with bated breath. say more and quickly!

    By Blogger rachel, at 1:40 AM  

  • i say, Lady Zarathustra. i'm most honoured to have you read through my ramblings. i shall tackle this delicate topic part by part.

    By Blogger FroidCoeur, at 8:29 AM  

  • hmm...this does leave some gaps, you know. to begin with there is a definite potential "post hoc" fallacy there. if everytime a black cat crosses my path i get bad luck, does it really mean it is wholly rational for me to believe that the black cat *causes* my bad luck? also, it doesn't quite address the whole "why christianity" issue, just "why i believe in god". so why not be muslim or zoroastrian? (sorry, had to plug my own religion here as zarathustra.)

    By Blogger rachel, at 2:50 AM  

  • i know it's not a complete argument, that's why it's under 'slightly better reasons' to believe in christianity. i'll post 'even better reasons' when i feel lucid enough to do so.

    as for your black cat hypothesis, the more often a black cat crossing your path gives you bad luck, the higher the probability that the two events are related (even though this probability might be decidedly low to start with). i think dawkins as an advocate of science would go about 'testing' religion that way too -- you start with a hypothesis (e.g. prayer is answered by God) set about proving that hypothesis through empirical evidence (though apparently dawkins participated in a prayer experiment and it didn't work)

    By Blogger FroidCoeur, at 10:47 AM  

  • true, but to say that one causes the other could be a bit of a leap. other factors which accompany your prayer could have caused the result, not the prayer itself. same thing for the black cat - maybe after seeing the black cat i become more nervous and hence more accident-prone. so when i get into trouble it's not because of the black cat, but because of the superstitious responses i had after seeing it.

    and whether fortunately or unfortunately, God is not susceptible to scientific proof. perhaps the doubting thomases of the world would only be satisfied if they could see and touch Christ's hands and side. and without such proof christianity must, at the end of the day, depend on conjecture. but taking a scientific approach to religion may not be the best route after all: "blessed are those who have not seen, but still believe".

    incidentally, i don't know if you got my message, but thanks once again for bringing my brother to church!

    By Blogger rachel, at 2:25 AM  

  • You forgot to add your being blessed with your inordinate amounts of good luck.

    By Blogger Shiny, at 12:28 PM  

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